Who's on Your Lego? (on friendship)
Updated: Apr 11
A mentor of mine once described friendships like this:
“Close relationships are like the studs on a lego. You can only have so many.”
We all know the makeup of this childhood toy. Some legos have 2 studs, some 4, some 6, and some even have 8. Once they’re full, they’re full. There’s no room to squeeze anything else on, no matter how hard you try.
Although friendships aren’t this cut and dry, I was encouraged to think about my close friendships like a lego. Because my time and energy is limited, I can’t have 14 close friends if my lego can only hold 4.
I don’t know about you, but I really struggle with spreading myself thin. I want to do all the things, make all the friends, and often find myself neglecting my closest people in the process.
The reality is, there’s only 24 hours in a day. 24 hours for eating, sleeping, working, and relationships. That’s not a lot of time. Therefore, the way we spend that time and who we spend that time with matters.
We have limited capacity for relationship. We can’t be everyone’s best friend.
Recently I’ve been trying to work on my consistency in friendship. What relationships do I want to last after college? Who can I see myself calling for advice five years down the road?
Maybe this looks like a weekly hangout on Monday night or meeting halfway for coffee once a month. What’s important is making sure our closest people don’t get left behind in the business of our lives.
Obviously we need more than just 4 or 5 friends in our lives. But it's important to be selective of those we are trusting with our minds and hearts. Proverbs 27:17 speaks of iron sharpening iron and those are your lego people. I'm not talking about those you have fun with on Friday night or the person you send memes to, but the ones who can call you out and build you up in all areas of your life.
Who are your closest people in this season? Have you spent time with them in the past week? Do they know you are thinking of them?
Perhaps now is a good time to reflect on how big your lego is in this season. Maybe it has room for 6 people, or maybe just 2 (and that's ok). But knowing who you're making space for on your lego and making a commitment to them is important in all seasons life.
Friendship is blurry, messy, and a bit of a grey area. An analogy of a lego won’t help us figure it all out. But a lego may challenge the way you look at relationship like it did for me.