• Bailey Rose DeHaven

I Have a Problem With Self-Care

I have a problem with self care being about chocolate cake and bubble baths. I have a problem with the emptiness of self care.

At first glance, there’s nothing wrong with relaxing and pampering, right?


Self care can be a good thing. It's about rest, renewal, and recharging. What's the harm in that? What makes self care return empty is when it’s used as a short-term relief to a long-term problem.

Are you coming home after every week exhausted and spend the weekend decompressing just in time to do it all over again? Does the weekend consists of shopping sprees, pampering, and any coping mechanism to distract from the long and draining week ahead?

Trust me, I’ll be the first to say I easily fall into this routine. I’ll also be the first to tell you it gets really old, really quick.

There must be something more to it.

I’m not saying coping, decompressing, or getting your mind off something is inherently wrong. That’s so far from the truth. I am pointing out that a pattern of exhaustion, self-care, exhaustion, self-care can feel really hopeless.

In a world focused on working ourselves into the ground and holding out until the next vacation, I wonder if there’s a better mindset.

I recognize there will be weeks we will exhausted regardless of our lifestyle. But a focus is on long-term sustainability rather than short-term may change our view of self-care in it's entirety.

We were actually designed to get tired. Have you ever thought about that?

If we were supposed to work 15 hour days, our days would be longer or our need for sleep shorter.

Caring for yourself, truly caring for yourself, is more than working out and eating well. It’s more than a good sleep schedule and a nighttime routine. But why?

If we stop there, it’s all for the sake of feeling good. It’s for the comfort that a healthy body brings. Rather, what if feeling good was just a cool byproduct of a greater purpose of caring for ourselves?

What if self care was about forwarding our ability to be selfless. What if it was about making space in our lives to actually rest and rejuvenate SO THAT we are at full potential for relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I love chocolate cake and bubble baths. But if we stop there, we’ll have a lot of feel-good moments but not a lot of purpose.

I don’t want to do self-care in the name of self care. I want to do self-care in the name of sustainability and relationship.

with love,

Bailey Rose


©2019 by Bailey Rose. My Holistic Heart created with Wix.com

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